This Is Your Tape

I read and reread Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, and I can honestly say it was an eye opener. It makes you reconsider the second look you give that person in passing, and it definitely makes you more aware of how the small things can affect someone so desperately.

They recently made a Netflix series, and I am always skeptical of these. A lot of the time the movie, or tv series, takes away from the novel, so the book nerds are always so disappointed because ALL HOLLYWOOD NEEDED TO DO WAS KEEP IT THE SAME! I was dubious, but I indulged and finished the series. Spoilers...in the event you haven't read the book or watched the end of the series.

The one thing I really liked about the series was the casting. I felt they did a perfect job depicting characters; Clay wasn't the overly sporty super good looking junior, Hannah was beautiful but not like the cheerleader types, Bryce was EXACTLY how you pictured. It worked. And I think all the actors did a great job with the characterization as well.
The HUGE difference from the book was the fact that we had insider information on characters we didn't know anything about prior. Justin Foley was a jerk- he spread rumors, he allowed his friend to rape his girlfriend- we as the reading community were like there is no redemption for him. However, in the series we are taken into Justin's home life where he has a neglectful and drug addicted mother who has an abusive boyfriend. So suddenly we are not so quick to judge Justin on his bad decisions and what he did to Hannah; we are left feeling like "Justin needed a hug" (as one of my sophomore girls said). I felt this was conflicting; Hannah Baker made these tapes because these people did different things that expressed the 13 reasons that eventually lead to her suicide. So why should I feel bad for them? They are ultimately horrible people; most of the people on the tape are just doing something to boost their popularity or just to be mean to someone. So why do I feel bad for them? I don't think this was a bad choice; I just felt it was interesting. I am supposed to be on Hannah's side, yet I have a soft spot for the jerks who made her feel small and alone.

After the second episode I knew we were making detours from the book. So, just like The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones, you enjoy the series for the sake of the series- not because you want it to be identical to the novel you love. There were  a lot of things I was uneasy with, but I did not dislike the series. It was filled with drama, it was terribly sad, at times graphic, but some of it was unexpected. They misnamed characters, changed events, rearranged the tapes, and added more details- but the show was consistently 50 minutes each episode. Ultimately, not that bad of a show. Honestly though, certain things should not have been points of concern: like Jessica and Justin's drama over his drug break down, Clay's sudden need for vengeance when his character never displayed this emotion, Justin's need to "get rid of Clay" to solve their problems, and the fact that all the boys have tattoos in high school. I know it's dumb, but it did bother me.

The end of the show really is a point of confusion. First, Clay completely bypasses the next person on the tapes and goes to the guidance counselor. Tony makes the decision to give Hannah's parents the tapes (who are in the process of suing the school district for their daughter's suicide). And Alex, the one person on the tapes who doesn't seem to have betrayed Hannah so poorly, has shot himself in the head at the end. This leaves us open for a season two...which would be a disaster. There are so many loose ends that weren't tied up; like the law suit, the school principal trying to cover the whole incident up, Hannah's parents having the tapes, and now Alex's impending death. I really think it's a let down if this were the ending, but it would be even worse if they decided to do a season two. It would completely take away from the book; not only that but it just wouldn't be enough material.
 It seems like lately Netflix series have a tendency to start off strong then let us down in the end...and in my opinion...I don't really know what to think about this one.


If you're going to watch you have to go in not expecting the exact information from the novel. It does a nice job of keeping the events the same (at least the really dramatic ones), the characters are very well established; but there are lots of different detours. Again, this is just me and my opinion- definitely check out the series if you loved the book. It kept true to the skeleton story Asher weaved of Hannah's life, although Netflix did need to include more of the drama to give viewers something else to long for.
Enjoy!

I Will Have My Revenge

It takes two people to keep a secret, and in Frances's case she is one of the only ones left who can reveal the truth. When the luxury yacht, Persephone, overtakes a tragic end, Frances and her friend, Libby, appear to be the only two who escape. Days later, Frances survives and is rescued by Libby's father; she then discovers there were two other people who witnesses the tragedy: Senator Wells and his son, Grey. However, Grey and his father lie about the outcome of the event claiming it was a rouge wave that overtook the ship, but this was not what Frances remembers from that day. Her

parents, Libby's mother, and every person on board that yacht were murdered in front of her.
Knowing the truth, Libby's father offers Frances safety and a chance for new life by taking on Libby's identity. However removed she gets from the tragedy, Frances cannot forget the pain and suffering and continues to plot her revenge against her one time love, Grey, and his father.
As she slips seamlessly into Libby's new life, and her plan becomes more and more real,  Frances comes faced with countless obstacles in achieving her plan. And, when it comes down to it, will she be able to betray Grey? Or has someone else plotted to silence her for good?

Carrie Ryan's Daughter of Deep Silence is a thriller that revolves around the idea of retribution. I am a huge fan of Ryan's work as I read her other series, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, twice through. Her writing is great, and she has this way of creating such a connection between the reader and the heroine. Frances finds herself suddenly orphaned with no one and no life to return to after the tragedy. Libby's father takes her in and gives her a life, but you can still sense her anger, her pain, and of course her need for revenge. She has plotted and planned; the lengths she goes to for this plan to succeed is truly remarkable. Every single detail down to the name of the senator's secretary has been thought through and thoroughly placed.
I marked this as a "self-discovery" book because throughout Frances becomes less Libby and truly begins to realize who Frances is and was. It is evident to readers the need for revenge has overtaken Frances and Libby's identities so the line between real and fiction is fading. The journey this novel takes is definitely suspenseful. Honestly, I feel it was a great thriller that truly left readers wondering who are the Wells's covering for, and what happens when they catch on that "Libby" is alive and on their trail. Definitely a great read with a unexpected end.

Hello Flowers.

The Cellar by Natasha Preston started, for me anyway, with the pretty covers. I know it's always about the color and the cover design. Upon reading the back cover, I was interested. As I started reading, I became terrified. I think this may have been a contributing factor as to why it took me a while to finish. *By the way, I did finish this and the next book a few months ago, however time has been escaping me lately. Again, my apologies.*

The story starts off with Summer Robinson and her utmost perfect life. She's a pretty teenager with a super caring and loving boyfriend, her family seems all too perfect. One evening, Summer went out to meet her friends at the local club, yes I know clubs are for older people but for some reason they can get in I think it takes place in England...I don't know, but she never makes it. Summer is kidnapped by a man only known as "Clover" who seems to be mistaking her for a girl named Lily.  She was drugged, and upon her coming to, Summer finds herself in the cellar of this man's home where she meets three of her "sisters": Rose, Poppy, and Violet. She was not being mistaken for Lily, this man has renamed her in order to fit into his perfect family.

Summer soon discovers these three women were also abducted, but none had a home, a family, or any kind of life to go back to. Each morning, the four women must dress in almost identical clothes to sit down at breakfast where Clover greets them. Then they have the entire day while the man of the house is at work to read, watch movies, or just sit idling. Clover puts on this persona of a fake family to come home to because he has no one to call his own. The women are given a home and expected to obey. The flowers are a symbol of how everything grows together; and now Summer finds herself expecting to be the perfect "Lily" in order to blend into the family.

Weeks turn to months, but Summer is still optimistic that her family and the love of her life, Louis, will find her somehow. However, the cellar is always locked, and even when opportunity strikes for escape, Summer has seen the result of those who try to cross Clover. Summer must continually keep herself strong in the hopes that one day she will be able to be free; but first she must endure the torture Clover has in store- which in reality is just becoming a family filled with love, affection, and perhaps once he has known his "flower" for a longer time, much needed sexual release. The other women seem delusional, but there is this constant hope within Summer, as well as her family members, to get her back home.

Quite honestly there were a lot of times in this novel I was legitimately scared. The villain, Clover, is a psycho. He slips into everyday life by having a normal job, a normal life, and when he does go shopping for clothes he always seems to have the right answers to draw suspicion away. It was actually terrifying to know how easy it was to kidnap and hold these women, and it was even worse to know the man considered them his "family". It makes you really consider serial killers, serial rapists, and kidnappers.

I believe the story ended a little conveniently, but I don't think the author could ethically ended it differently. You travel with this young naive protagonist through the horror of murder, rape, and kidnapping; your only hope is the light at the end, even if it's death for some. I did give this story 4 stars on Good reads because it was well written and it caused me to have these feelings of fear. In fact there were a few nights when I had legit nightmares of events. There are other novels Preston wrote with a similar premise, but I think I want to skip those. The book is very close to real life and the mind of a psychopath, so I feel one is enough to give me a good view on what we see. Be my guest to keep going. The book was easy to get through...physically anyway. 

Love Between Two People Can Make Life Worth Living...

Oh yes...another dystopian society!

Zoe lives in a world with no emotion. Humans have a chip inserted in the back of their necks to prevent any kind of emotional reaction. Once children become adults, there is a permanent chip inserted, so there is never a possibility of recreating the emotional feeling from the past. As a child, the chip may malfunction, or glitch, creating them to feel these emotions. If this happens, citizens are expected to come forward so they can be "fixed". Zoe has been glitching for months; she knows she should turn herself into the officials, but something always seems to stop her. These emotions she's overwhelmed with...they're exciting, new, and maybe they're the cause of these abilities she keeps having.

The day Zoe is called into the office is where she officially meets Adrien, the boy with the turquoise eyes who knows about her glitching and her abilities because he has abilities too. Adrien has premonitions, and he was able to see Zoe's abilities of mentally controlling objects. In a flash, Zoe is transported into the world of the Resistance who want to recreate the world with no chips, no malfunctioning, and no suffocating government control.
As time goes on, Zoe begins to remember the importance of the memories of her past, and her passion for gaining more knowledge grows. She discovers others who have similar abilities, and together they need to find a way to escape the confines of their government before they are found out and eliminated.

Glitch by Heather Anastasiu was a great read. It has just enough of the science fiction aspect in it, so it's not too over your head with technology and chips. Yes yes, I have problems when it goes too far into that stuff. Once you lose me, I am out. But Glitch was perfect. It was really neat to watch Zoe grow and discover these emotions for the first time. The ending was a cliff hanger, of course because it is a trilogy, but it is not really what you had anticipated. Of course some things are too convenient, but the concept is new and it works. Definitely worth a look!

I Believe I'm Not in Kansas Anymore...

It's been a while, and that's on me. It takes a while to find the time to read lately, but I did finally finish this one:
Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Page is set in a small town in Kansas, where we meet Amy Gumm. Amy lives in a trailer with her neglectful and absent mother and is misunderstood. She doesn't seem to fit in anywhere, and all just seems lost. When a tornado hits her trailer, Amy is transported to Oz, where things are not as "peachy" as the tale might make us think.

Dorothy became the leader of Oz, but her all powerful demeanor raised a city of evil. She's selfish in her ways, kills the innocent before they can object, and controls all. The scarecrow has a brain, which he now uses to experiment and kill the traitors of Dorothy's power, the Tin Man has fallen so deeply in love with her highness that he would do anything to protect her, and the Lion seems to have trans mutated into a horrible beast set to eat and kill. The good witch, Glinda, hoards the power and forces the munchkins to work the long and brutal hours to appease the queen, and the Wizard doesn't even seem to be there.

All seems lost, until Amy is rescued by the side of evil; and they are convinced she will be the one to kill Dorothy and bring order back to Oz. Amy is trained, sent undercover, and the entire time her team of "wicked witches" hopes that she can succeed in this mission. If she fails, Oz is going to get a whole lot darker.

So usually when books take me a while to finish it's because I don't have the time, but in this case....I think it's just because I wasn't interested. I mean don't get me wrong, the whole "dark Oz" was very cool. It was neat how everything transformed into death and despair and how Dorothy's ultimate goal was to keep all the magic and just get more powerful, so she is no longer that innocent girl from Kansas. However, it took almost the entire book to lead up to Amy being "ready" to fight Dorothy. We only meet Dorothy when she captures her in the beginning, and then it isn't until the last few chapters we see her again. The focus is strictly on the side of "evil", or good depending on how you see it. And...not to put in a spoiler, but Dorothy doesn't even die. You have to read the next book in the series to find out what happens from here...so I almost felt like...why did it take so long? I get it! The author wants to keep you on edge for the next book, but I felt like there was so much build up and not enough actual action. When there was action and fighting it seemed too short.

The book had a good concept, but I just felt it fell short in a lot of different areas. I have no interest in continuing the story, so I will not be reading the other books in the saga. I just didn't care about the characters or the whole idea of making the greater Oz and saving the city. It was kind of a bust for me. It was easy to read and follow, but it makes you aggravated because the story line just takes too long.

Don't Open...Dead Inside

Of course I am into The Walking Dead t.v series on AMC. I mean at this point you either like the show, or you haven't seen enough of it to form an opinion. Because come on....who really dislikes it?


I always said I wanted to read the comics, The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore, because a lot of people said they were so good; plus I heard the show goes in a significantly different direction than the books. Luckily, the boy has 1-17, so I borrowed them. I was going through a reading slump, but graphic novels (a.k.a comics) go so quickly.

Quite honestly, I am enjoying the comics. Rick is still a bad ass, events are still accurate to the series timeline, but of course there are different things along the way. I mean the major thing is Daryl is not in the comic. So the entire first issue I am waiting for the redneck with the cross bow, however I keep reminding myself that he and Merle do not exist in the comic book world. They are not the only character that Hollywood embellished. Let's be real, the comics have a lot of detail Hollywood either left out, or just chose to go in another direction with.

The comics are well done; I love the art work, and the story is just so great. I am so glad I picked these up because it does make you fall in love with The Walking Dead and the characters so much more. I know things are missing, but I watch the series for the enjoyment value at this point. I hope to get through the series of comics quickly, which shouldn't be too hard because they go so quickly. And they are thoroughly entertaining. HIGHLY recommend. And if you haven't seen the series...NETFLIX BING THAT! If not for the story...at least do it for Daryl. :p

Where's the Humor in Death?

It has been a long time...too much work stress, too many papers to grade, just too much. But nevertheless I am back with a book I just finished a few weeks ago.

 Me Earl and The Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews was one of those books I picked up simply because they came out with the movie and it looked interesting. No, I did not see the movie, and after reading the book I don't know if I will. I feel there didn't need a movie because, honestly, we didn't have to have a visual to understand the concept of this book. Okay, maybe I'll watch it eventually...but you know what I mean.

Greg has made it clear that he is going to lay low, fit in with everyone, and therefore fly under everyone's radar his senior year. He has succeeded at this; in fact most people acknowledge his existence, but he doesn't fit into any one group in particular. He and his best friend, Earl, hang out discussing movies; in fact the two have dabbled in the film making aspect. They aren't great films, but the two of them enjoy the secret of their craft. Senior year was starting as planned, until Greg's mom tells him about his "friend", Rachel. Rachel has cancer, and despite the treatments and the fight, she is sick and in desperate need of a friend. So, naturally, Greg's mother volunteers him for the job. After the first encounter with Rachel, Greg's picture perfect high school plan becomes a thing of the past. The next few months prove to be embarrassing and awkward, but Greg and Earl begin to realize that perhaps that's just a part of life.

I was laughing pretty much the entire time with this one. Andrews has a great way with humor and capturing the true essence of a high school teenage boy. It has a similar concept to John Green's A Fault in Our Stars, but this one seems more real. Greg is inconvenienced by his mother's request to be friends with this girl he had no intention of friending. She's odd, laughs weird, and is not someone he wants to intentionally go out of his way to make feel better. Yet, as time passes he warms to the idea of Rachel and making her feel better.

No, it's not a love story which was SO nice because after reading 15 million reviews on how romantic and loving John Green's book was I was over it. The ending isn't exactly expected, but that was not a bad thing.
The book was a very easy read, hilarious, and just nice. It's nice to have a book about disease that has real emotion so it's easier to relate to the characters and story. Definitely worth the read; it goes really quick and will have it's moments where you laugh out loud- which of course causes people to look at you and wonder in public. Oh well.

A Link To A New World

Fantasy novels always take longer to finish and completely understand. Most of the time the authors take you to these worlds that are elaborate, some having their own languages and codes, and as a result the reader needs to take their time.  
Myst by Rand and Robin Miller and David Wingrove begins with Atrus, a young boy who was abandoned by his father, and resides in the desert with his grandmother. Anna teaches Atrus about the ways of the D'ni society that once existed years before. They survive: Atrus learns to write in the old language, and all seems right with the world. As he grows, his curiosity blossoms and soon Atrus finds himself performing experiments to help with the life style the two are encased in.

The day Gehn, Atrus's father, returns the world begins to change. Atrus is forced to accompany his father on a new journey, and as a result he must leave his familiar world forever. On the journey, the young boy discovers his father creates worlds, almost like a God. Using blank books, Gehn weaves a story into each and in turn they become Ages that can be visited and inhabited. All of the Ages have distinct differences, and the more the young boy sees, the more amazed he is. Gehn's plan is to teach Atrus the powers of writing and creating Ages so the two can become and remain powerful beings.
However, the more time Atrus spends with his father, the more he begins to realize things are not as they seem. Gehn's need to remain in "power" shows Atrus there is evil, but with his kind heart, he will try to find a way to make things right.
The concept to the novel was very well done. The author created a world...where the character creates worlds! It's mind blowing. But you can see the good vs. evil tendencies that always ring through in a fantasy themed novel.
Gehn's character, from when we first see him in the prologue, is a jerk. He's selfish, and the more you read the more you absolutely hate him. Sure, he's no Sauron (haha nerd reference), but Gehn proves to be the perfect antagonist. So perfect, in fact, that each scene he was in- I couldn't help but say "jerk" under my breath. Yes yes, I do sometimes talk out loud while I am reading. :p
You have to love Atrus's character because he embodies good. He has a kind soul, a curious demeanor, and all throughout the story you see his desire to do "good" and see the good in everything. And the minute he realizes his father is being unreasonable and a horrible human being, the "protagonist" instinct takes over.
The book was well written, and the more you read, the more you realize this is such an original concept for a novel. I mean where do we ever see a character creating anything let alone whole worlds? It's a good read, but it is one you do need to spend time with. Much like most fantasy novels, the concepts are complex, so it is important to be patient and let the story unravel. It's worth it! Stick with it, and check out the rest in the trilogy.

Every Night I Drown and Every Morning I Wake Up Struggling to Breathe

I finished The Forest of Hands and Teeth series by Carrie Ryan almost four years ago, but I felt myself drawn to it once again.

We all know the story, or at the very least you can go back in the tags and check my original posting. I have only finished rereading the first in the series, but in my last entry regarding the novels, I left out a few important pieces to Mary's story.

Mary, Gabry, and Annah are all strong female characters with choices to make, and each of them are trapped in a world with the diseased, the Unconsecrated, the living dead. Of course the story begins with Mary- her village is breached by the zombie hoards, so she and her small group escape with hopes of another world on the outside. However, I could not help but get frustrated with Mary.

Her mother chose the Unconsecrated in order to be reunited with her father. Immediately upon returning to the house, Mary's brother, Jed, refuses to welcome her back into their home partly because his wife has just miscarried, but also because he blames Mary for their mother's death. Mary is tossed into the life of the Sisterhood because no one claims her. She experiences rejection from all sides; the love of her life, Travis: who has claimed her best friend, her mother: who chose death and the unliving rather than her own daughter, and now her brother. The reader can't help but feel such sorrow for this young woman. She is forced into the Sisterhood, where she does not belong, but this is the only choice she can make for herself.

Travis is then hurt, barely alive, so he stays with the Sisters until he heals. Mary goes to his bedside each night, and her love for him intensifies. Even better, Travis believes in the ocean and the world Mary longs for. He feels it too. When he heals, there is more rejection for Mary when Travis is not the one to come back and claim her, but his brother Harry.
The story continues as the Unconsecrated breach the fence, their village is all taken by the undead, and Mary is forced down the forest path with Harry, Travis, her best friend Cass, a young boy, Jacob, and her brother and his wife. The more rejection the reader feels in Mary's heart, the more she retaliates. Her personality is fierce, unflinching, and this is what makes her a strong heroine.

However,  finally Mary gets her wish. She and Travis are trapped together, while the others are safe on the platforms of another village. Although trapped, and Travis's leg makes it impossible for him to follow quickly, Mary and Travis are together in a house where they can be alone. This is what she wanted; she wanted him to choose her, yet there is something missing. The ocean, her escape, is always on her mind. Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but think why can't he be enough? Was the rejection he caused her too much? Or was he just never going to be enough for her? At the beginning she longed for him, waiting for him, saw a life with him; yet she finally gets that chance and it's lost on her ultimate goal.
Even at the end of the story (be advised this is a spoiler)- she loses everything. Travis is dead, Harry/Cass/ and Jacob have taken a separate path, and her brother also falls to her dreams of the ocean. In the end she makes it, but at what cost?

I think this frustrated me the most about Mary because it was difficult to understand her reasoning. Was the constant rejection the reason for her desire to push away? Travis and Harry both had such intense loves for her, and I understand her holding back with Harry, but she had Travis- this was what she wanted. But even in the end Travis asked "Would you ever give up the ocean for me?" It's almost like he knew he would never be enough. 
Again, I have not revisited the other two novels, but I found Mary's constant hope and desire for something better frustrating. Maybe it's because of the three main characters, I can't really connect emotionally to Mary's story. Sure she went through stages of rejection, but when things began to work her way, she still could not see that as enough. She put people in danger, but worst of all, it seems she broke a few people's hearts because they knew she had an untamed soul that love and family could not calm. Maybe that frustrated me more; knowing that she could have a happy life where she could have everything she wanted, but it was never going to be enough to make her fully happy.
In the end, I fell back in love with the series and find myself going head first into the post apocalyptic world Ryan has created. This is one of the best series I have come across- her writing is lyrical and weaves a fantastic tale, but the story itself provides raw emotion, survival, and love that all three females are so desperate to find.

Sometime, I Feel like my Whole Life is Lived in this Twilight Space Between Sunshine and Darkness

I read Angelfall by Susan Ee a few months ago based on one of my student's recommendations. I, of course, fell in love. I quickly read the second, had an altercation with the incompetent library staff over some business of spilled ink (which believe me I still have no clue about), and I sat patiently awaiting the third in the series. FINALLY! Just a for your info...if you have NOT read the first or second of the series, you should know that this will probably contain spoilers.

Penryn's journey through this post apocalyptic world is coming towards an end with End of Days. As she and Raffe are reunited, it seems the stakes are getting higher. Uriel is out for blood and wants to remain the only Messenger of God, and his plan is to destroy the human race. Raffe is still searching for a doctor to transplant his angel wings, and Penryn is just hoping her sister's condition can be helped.
The more time the two spend together, Penryn realizes her feelings for Raffe go beyond just a normal crush, but both know this feeling is wrong. They are of two different kinds, and angels cannot get involved with Daughters of Man.
As their journey continues, the two face hellions, fall and escape from the Pit, and realize that now is their time to fight for their own side. Raffe needs to take his place with the others in order to ensure he can become the new Messenger. Penryn must return back to her family and her people to ensure their safety and care. Both know very well where they need to be, but when time comes, will they be able to accept they are fighting on opposite sides with opposite goals.

I have to say there wasn't a dull book in the series. Sure, the second one takes a second because everyone just wants to see Raffe again. I mean...duh. But knowing the two of them are acknowledging their feelings is of course the deep sigh of relief moment for readers. Penryn is not a normal teenage heroine; she has a schizophrenic mother which caused her to do a lot of growing up on her own. As a result, she is one tough lady. I think this topped with the post apocalyptic feel really makes it an interesting trilogy.
This last one had a lot of different things. Things seemed too convenient, and yes having to believe that all of the sudden Penryn alone must now concoct a plan that saves her people is a little difficult. But, I do like the story. And with these type of novels you are just hoping for some kind of common ground and a happy ending. Or at least the happiest you can get.

I would say sit back and enjoy it. It's a nice new spin on angels (nothing like the Hush Hush disaster), and it gives you a strong heroine with a sexy angel to drool over. Easy read, quick series, but ultimately I felt positive and happy when I finished this one off. Just enough romance, nothing Twlightish, and lots of crazy monsters, demons, hellions that create a whole new meaning to survival.

You can’t go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have . . . is now

I read Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher years ago, but I had an urge to revisit it. Honestly, it still held the same impact.

Hannah Baker commits suicide, and only a few weeks later Clay Jensen receives a package in the mail. This shoe box full of tapes will soon reveal the full story Hannah has left behind, and these tapes will change his life.

Before Hannah dies, she records herself reflecting on the thirteen reasons that lead to her inevitable downfall. Each tape has two stories, each story targets a different person and their actions, and each story is just a small piece that leads to her ultimate death.
Clay continues to listen to Hannah's stories, and he continues to wonder where he fits into this puzzle. He had a crush on her, he wanted to be with her, so how can he possibly be a reason leading to her demise? But the more he listens, the more he realizes that each person mentioned on the tape had something to hide, and each one of them should be utterly ashamed for their actions. However, not one of them realized their misstep would be piling up into the dark depths of Hannah's life.
Hannah's story goes through awful rumors, horrible jokes, and ghastly experiences that built up to such a boiling point, Hannah saw no way out. The more Clay listens, the more he realizes the signs were there, but everyone failed her. The tapes are reminders to him and every person who was sent this box of cassettes, that even the smallest actions have consequences; some that you are unable to see.

This novel truly sticks with you. Hannah's voice is so prominent throughout, and you almost feel like you want to try to help her too. But when everyone lets her down, her depression seems to worsen. It goes to show that even a tiny action, positive or negative, has an affect on people. Sometimes, it has a deeper affect than we would like to know.At the end of the novel, we as readers are hopeful that things will change. Clay reaches out to a fellow classmate, and we can assume this is how the tapes will leave their positive influence.

Hannah's story is not much different than a lot of students in the world today; and I think that was what left the biggest impact on me. We don't realize the impact of words, and we don't realize that everyone's "bad day" is different. I recommend this one to all my students because it is important, especially in today's society, that they be aware that every thing they do has an impact of some kind. It could be small, but even a tiny good deed always means something to someone. If Hannah's tragedy teaches readers anything, it is to always find the good because sometimes that good really can bring change and acceptance.

We'll Pull Out These Memories...and They'll Make Us Feel Safe

The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson expresses a fresh take on a common mental illness. Most of Anderson's novels reflect realistic issues; this one, however, drives away from direct teenager problem and the focus is how mental illness affects life as a whole.

Hayley and her father have been on the road for years. After he returned from the war, her father was deeply affected with post traumatic stress; therefore driving from state to state and desperately trying trying to find enough money to pay for food became a way of life. However, senior year was when Hayley's father chose to settle in his mother's old house. Despite Hayley's attempts to get them on track, her father continues to go in and out of an alcoholic state, and the adjustment to public school is not an easy road.

As her story continues, Hayley is affected by the memory of her childhood; her father's absence, her step mother's alcoholism, her grandmother's loving touch and care. Her father slowly begins to spin further out of control; between his alcoholism, recreational drug use, and inconsistent temper its no wonder her life is a complete tornado.
When Hayley meets Finn, a charming swimmer from school, she tries to put a wall up to avoid anyone getting too close to her. The more time she spends with him, however, the more she realizes the two aren't so different. But her happiness seems to be a sham because she realizes her life will never be the picture perfect dream she could ever hope for.

The concept of Anderson's novels usually reflect a teen who needs to find their way. Her father's mental illness continues to affect Hayley to a point where she cannot even consider her own future without worrying she'll be leaving her father in a state of depression and despair. Her past troubles resurface, but it isn't until she begins to accept and move forward that she realizes life is hers to live.
This novel goes inside the brain of a past veteran, but also shows how one can accept and live with the memories too painful to forget. Finn's character provides comic relief, but he also serves as an anchor that Hayey desperately needs. His life is no happily ever after either, and the more she finds out, the more she is able to open up and take down the wall she has surrounding her.

I honestly believe this book will give readers, especially young adults, a new view on post traumatic stress. It's something heard about, but never truly understood. And although the veterans are the ones who suffer internally, the impact it has on a family, however broken they are, is devastating.

The End of Innocence

I should be ashamed because I had never fully read Lord of the Flies by William Golding. I also don't teacher British Literature, so I never had to return to this classic novel. Recently, a few co workers and I took a field trip with a handful of kids to see Lord of the Flies being performed by high school students. After that, I had to read it.

The story starts with a group of boys ending up on a deserted island after experiencing a plane crash. All the boys find each other, and soon, because they're English, which implies apparently they are best at everything according to Jack Merridew, they decide to set up rules and elect a chief in charge of the rules and affairs; at least until they are rescued.

Ralph is elected, and although all seemed well, it isn't as easy as it seems. The littluns, or small kids, find it hard to follow the rules because their attention spans are small, but also they are too weak to build shelter and hunt for food. Meanwhile Jack and his group of hunters are obsessed with finding the pigs on the island to hunt, stab, and kill so they can claim their prize and prove their strength. Boys start to wander away, others lose interest in Ralph and Piggy's wise words, but the two try desperately to keep everyone together and civilized.

Slowly, Jack and his hunters become more and more obsessed with revenge and power, which leads into their savage ways. Ralph attempts to pull them back, but then the struggle begins. Jack and Ralph are at odds on who the proper chief should be, Piggy and the rest of the boys choose their sides and are then separated, on top of this- the boys claim they have seen a beast on the island, which could lead to their demise. 

The novel shows human nature at its finest. We are prone to become savage especially when it comes to control, power, and survival. We panic when there are no "rules", but even when there are not everyone follows and agrees. And it seems someone will always be jealous of the power some hold. It is truly the loss of innocence. The best intentions often lead to a disaster, and it is no different here. It goes to show how much faith Golding had in the human race, but also how quickly we can go from being civilized to becoming savage and full of raw emotion.

Great classic novel, and it is probably the ONLY reason I would want to teach British Lit. in the future. Definitely worth a read if you "missed" this one in high school. Worth it to see the journey of these young boys, how they do fair at surviving, but it's truly interesting to witness how they become too far gone that it is hard to come back.

I Realize Now that Dying is Easy. Living is Hard...

It has been a while, but crappy freshmen essays seemed to be holding me back from reading. *Gasp* I know, an English teacher who has too many essays to grade. Crazy.

This was one of those independent reading books that all the girls read and loved, so of course, it was my turn. And luckily, I didn't get swept up in the movie craze so I was able to read the book first. I have to admit If I Stay by Gayle Forman took me a while simply because of how sad it was. I was going through an emotional period of time, and I knew that if I read this book at a steady pace, I would be bawling.  

Mia Hall is a senior in high school with a loving family, a wonderful and supportive boyfriend, and a promising future. She applied to the Julliard music program for the cello, and all signs point to acceptance. Her boyfriend, Adam, has a band that is just beginning to take off, and her family is picture perfect. Then tragedy strikes. Mia and her family are in a car accident; She finds herself watching the events to follow from the sidelines, literally, and realizes she is at the in-between stage. She isn't dead yet; this is the choice she must make.

This novel is full of flash backs of Mia's past, her worries about the future with Adam and her choice to attend the music school in New York, and her family. Mia has lost her family, this much she knows, but her decision to stay on earth with whatever she has left is a struggle. Everything tells her to give in and let go, but there are still things she is desperately trying to hold onto.

The novel gives a new meaning to the idea of strength. Mia is a teenager who has lost everything she knew, yet she has to make the decision to hang on in hopes of being strong, or to let go in hopes that she and the rest of her friends and family can move on.

Every turn of the page was full of emotion. Forman made so many references to music- classical, rock, punk- so it made it even more interesting. I mean who doesn't like a Nirvana "Something in the Way" reference?
This was a great read; sad and very emotional, but worth it. Mia's strength, her character, and everything that surrounds her makes her choice harder, but she shows us that choice is exactly what everyone has.

All Those Who Wander Are Not Lost...

I am an English teacher and never fully was able to finish the Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien. I know, I am a disgrace.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies was coming out in theaters and because I am a huge fan of the movies, I decided this was as good a time as any to pick up the series again. I started with The Hobbit years ago, but I was not fully convinced. To be fair, I did not give it much of a chance. Once the movie craze came out, I knew I had to reconsider. There is no way the movies could be so amazing the books were not.

So the journey from the Shire to Mordor began. Everyone knows the story; there is one ring to rule them all, Bilbo passes the ring to Frodo, his nephew, who now has to go on this journey to destroy it. Frodo's journey takes him out of the comforts of the Shire and into the deep unknown. Frodo and his fellow hobbits (Pippin, Merry, and Sam) encounter the Elves in Rivendale and are joined by Aragorn, Boromir, Gandalf the Grey, Gimli, and Legolas. They are dubbed "The Fellowship" and all nine begin their perilous journey to the depths of disaster. The goal is to destroy the ring so Sauron's power ends so his armies are stopped, and all of Middle Earth is at peace again.

Tolkien is arguably the best fantasy writer of all time. He created a world, not just an idea. This world is filled with different species, languages, geographical regions, and everything just fits so perfectly together. He weaves a story of adventure, survival, and courage.

Although I am not fond of Frodo's character, the rest of his company make up for his incompetence. Sam is one of the best friends anyone could ask for. Not only does he force himself on this journey because he longs to support his best friend, Sam proves his own bravery when all else fails. All of the characters find their own piece of courage, and yet some are tainted and overcome by the ring's force. Once "The Fellowship" disbands at the end of the first novel, the fight for Middle Earth truly begins, and it's filled with death, strength, fear, and love.
The novel does take time to go through, so this is by no means a quick read. His story and description take time and are meant to engross the reader into his world. I think that's why it took a while for me to get back into these novels. But, when you are having a rough day, these books are the perfect way to step in a realm of magic.
And yes, despite Hollywood forgetting to include certain pieces of the novels into the movies, they are extremely well done. And I truly think that Tolkien would be impressed with their masterpiece and the amount of joy they bring to viewers. I can honestly say whenever I am sad, I immediately turn to these movies for comfort. Worth the read, worth watching, and definitely a masterpiece all around.

Down The Rabbit Hole...Again

Unhinged by A.G Howard is a continuation of the Splintered trilogy. I have to be honest, I read this one fairly quickly and not because it was a "I can't put this book down" kind of thing. If I put the book down, I was afraid I wouldn't want to get back into it.

Let me explain...The book was not horrible, in fact I did like it. However, it has so many complex things happening that it's easy to forget what the heck is going on. Yes, Wonderland is one of those things that is supposed to be crazy and confusing, but it's difficult to keep up. I read the first book last year, and I never returned to it before picking up this one. So there were some things I forgot, and apparently these things resurface in the second one.

Alyssa has been crowned Queen Of Wonderland, which has suppressed the Red Queen's (Red's) power for now. The problem is Jeb, Alyssa's boyfriend, does not remember his courageous actions, or anything for that matter, from their last trip to Wonderland. Almost a year has passed and Alyssa doesn't want to bring back those memories, afraid he won't accept her and the world she came from.

But Morpheus, Alyssa's long time friend from Wonderland, reappears with startling news: Red has found a way into the human realm, and she plans to destroy those dear to Alyssa. She is back for her crown, and only Alyssa, the true Queen of Wonderland can fight back. But Morpheus's constant treats make it clear that this fight is not easily won, and it could be life or death. Alyssa must make the choice she dreaded: take her place and fight back in Wonderland, or stay with Jeb, her parents, and push her netherling past away.

My one suggestion for this book is to read the first one right before it. A lot of plot points can be better explained. The love triangle between Morpheus Alyssa and Jeb is so powerful. Jeb is the white knight that vows to stay by Alyssa despite the tension, and Morpheus is the mythological creature that foresees a future with her and he doesn't always play fair.
 The book left us with a great cliff hanger in hopes for a happy, or somewhat happy, ending. You root for Jeb because he is the wounded bad boy who would do anything for her, yet Alyssa has a netherling magic inside her that she can't escape.
I look forward to the 3rd one, I just have to recap before I start reading it...

Never Forget the Potential One Solitary Pawn Has to Change The Entire Game

Kitty Doe's fate lies in the hands of the test. In this futuristic world, young men and women at 16 take a test to determine their intelligence. Once the results are found, these children have their marks engraved on the back of their necks. A mark of a IV or V prove a normal life with acceptable jobs, VI or above show great intelligence and therefore receive jobs that are more aligned with the Prime Minister and the high ranked family of Harts.

However, marks of III or lower only lead to meaningless work that no one wishes to complete. Often times in order to make enough money, these people sell themselves to brothels in hopes of a more enriching life.
Then there are those people who disobey and are taken into Elsewhere, which is just as mysterious as it sounds. No one knows what is beyond Elsewhere, but everyone knows this is no place to travel.

Kitty's test results land her a III. The government wishes to send her to Denver to complete her work of sweeping sewers, but Kitty's one choice this night changes the course of events. Her attempts to sell herself at a brothel land her a proposition from the Prime Minister himself: He will change her marking to a VII, she just has to leave her life behind. When she agrees, Kitty does not realize what this VII could mean, or what dangers it presents.
In Aimee Carter's Pawn, Kitty finds herself masked, a plastic surgery procedure where the individual is transformed into another person. In Kitty's case, Lila Hart; the Prime Minister's niece and one of the most powerful people in the world.
Kitty soon realizes this VII meant changing her identity, her world, and becoming Lila, who was killed because her actions were not well liked by the Prime Minister. She begins to uncover secrets, shocking revelations, and she realizes the Harts have no intention to let her go. But she fears for Benji, the boyfriend she left behind. How will she ever be able to make it back to him and explain this? But what scares her the most; the Hart family have all sorts of different agendas. The day Kitty does not serve her purpose, not only will they kill Benji, but what is to stop them from killing her?

I picked this novel up out of curiosity. The idea of marking children for their potential jobs is one that has been seen before, however the government involvement has dark plans. The dark plans aren't for their citizens...it seems to be a family affair. Each one is against the other, blackmail is common, and it is never clear whose side anyone is on. Knox, Lila's real life fiance, and Greyson, Lila's cousin, seem to be the only two who are 100% truthful. Kitty is no fool, but with each chapter and each new plan, it begins to get harder and harder for her to fight for her control. She is Lila, and it seems as though her hope in ever finding a life with Benji where they can be free is far from her grasp.

I really liked this concept, the family dynamic was very interesting, and the ending does come as a shock. It was so incredible how these people had no regard for human life. The amount of "accidents" and blatant killings was disgusting. But it proved to show there is a rebellion trying to squeeze through. And despite her troubles, Kitty does not plan to sit back and let anyone tell her what to do.
Overall great book, and seems like it will be a great trilogy.

Some Secrets Refuse to Stay Buried...

I wish I can say the book was as good as the tag line, but alas not so much.
Dan Crawford finds himself going to a summer program at a college that was an old asylum at one point. This asylum was said to have housed many dangerous criminals and those in need of psychiatric care. This is a typical old asylum: electric shock, lobotomies, and dusty old rooms filled with files on those patients that could not be saved.
I had high hopes for this novel because I read the description, and the pictures inside are actual photos of abandoned old asylums. So I thought it was a pretty cool concept. However, Asylum by Madeleine Roux was a waste and a disappointment.

The very first thing you notice is how completely clueless and awkward the main character is. Sometimes that is a good thing, but Dan just has something about him that makes you want to hug him, pat him gently on the shoulder, or just completely shake your head. You're not really sure what to do with him. Enter his two friends, Jordan: a gay rebel who hasn't told his parents he's even at this program, and Abby: typical artsy girl and (of course) Dan's love interest.
One of the things that confused me the most was the mood swings Abby and Jordan had. Halfway through the book the two of them just get angry and take turns huffing and puffing while leaving Dan in the dark. To say Dan is the most normal character in the book, or the most likeable anyway, is really something. Not a good something. The more characters enter, the more weird things get. And I don't think this "weird" was what the author was going for.
Abby, Jordan, and Dan have an obsession with going into the closed off corridor where the creepy psych patient's files are. So they meander in there a few things, each time Dan gets creeped out by notes left for him, pictures, his name even pops up on a few of the files.
Turns out, Dan is adopted (who knew) and he's a relative of the old warden of the asylum...shocker I know. So OF COURSE he's getting creepy flashbacks, weird messages, etc. But it's really hard to follow and not because the writing is complicated, just simply because I was unclear what the hell was going on. One minutes Dan receives a note that has a cryptic message on it, the next he has a weird flashback where he's on a gurney waiting to be operated on, and then he starts to see weird shadows. What. The. Hell.

People start to die, get injured, and panic. The cops all start to question Dan because he seems to always be in the area when these things happen. Abby finds out her Aunt was a patient in this old asylum, Jordan has his gay freak out about disappointing his parents...you get the picture.

I can say the ending came as a surprise, but I pretty much rushed through it because I just wanted it to end. Even with the ending I didn't feel any real closure to the book. There's a cliff hanger, but to be honest, I didn't really give a crap enough to even read the first page of the second book.  I think the author had a great idea and a really neat concept...but nothing is really explained. Plot points are unaddressed, characters enter and leave so quickly you are unsure who the hell they are, and the main theme itself is not something that keeps my attention. Roux could have done so much with the concept of the abandoned asylum turned college; she could have amplified her characters so they had more important roles and were easier to relate to; and for the love of God she could have explained key things that would have been VERY HELPFUL to have knowledge about.
Not a great read on this one. I am not deterring people from reading this, but I strongly recommend going in with the idea that you will be disappointed. It's too bad because the covers are cool and the overall idea behind the pictures and the plot were interesting. It's just disappointing.

Ironically, Since the Attacks, The Sunsets Have Been Glorious

Six weeks ago, the angels took over the earth. They aren't even the fallen... these are regular "heavenly" angels. Since the apocalypse, the humans have been scavenging. Everything is a wasteland, and everyone was affected by this travesty. Penryn, her schizophrenic mother, and her wheelchair bound sister find themselves in the middle of a fight where an angel's wings are cut off, and Paige, her sister, is captured.

Penryn then makes it her mission to find these angels, rescue her sister, and maybe get some revenge. However, this clipped angel could be her only clue to getting to her end goal. Once the angel, Raffe, heals enough to move forward, Penryn finds herself on a journey where she must rely on her enemy in order to reach her sister. And Raffe must trust Penryn's guidance and strength in order to find a way to get his wings back. Although the two are an unlikely pair, both must be able to get past their pride, anger, and weaknesses to use each other. How will it be possible to surmount these obstacles when both of their worlds are so incredibly different?

The first book in the series, Angelfall by Susan Ee, focuses on a post apocalyptic world where it's not zombies but angels that cause destruction and death. The reader is immediately introduced to Penryn's strength. With her mother's illness and her sister's disability, she has been the mother like figure, the anchor, and the only constant. She is quick witted, and she is able to fight her way out of most obstacles she does face.
Raffe, on the other hand, is a mystery, which is what he is meant to be. He's strong, sexy, but broken without his wings. Penryn tries to keep him under her thumb, however you can see times of weakness. She feels sorry for him, and readers do too. But he has such a hard exterior, that you aren't sure what to think. I mean at times he is a jerk! However, there are often signs of a soft heart.

I liked this novel because it shows a different post apocalyptic world where our saving grace is now destroying the earth. As the story goes on, there are battles, dark findings, and a suggestion of deeper feelings between Penryn and Raffe. The angels are truly demonic and create a new world of fear and evil, which makes readers wonder what side is "good", and what exactly is this war meant for.
Something to keep in mind: the narrator isn't even MOVING in the last few chapters. She is paralyzed and seeing all the events happening, yet the intensity of the scene really does keep readers engaged. I mean you have to be skilled if your narrator can just be laying there while a huge battle is happening. Pretty intense.
Very neat concept. I heard the second one takes a few chapters to truly get into, but this is always true with the second in the series. Worth a read if you are looking for a dystopia where it's not a zombie, vampire, or government controlled world, and no love triangle.
 Definitely a refreshing "re-look" at angels...especially after the disaster that was Hush Hush. Do not even get me started. At least this one reintroduces the angel story with a STRONG heroine, actual fighting and disturbing concepts, and next to no underlying love interests. Thank goodness for that.

We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other

I just finished the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. I am processing the ending, the events, and the trilogy as a whole.

As I expected...Roth did not disappoint. In this novel the reader sees outside of the fence, the new "government" that controls all the cities and their living situation. They watch them, they created the factions and their forms of living, and if they think the city is doomed- they can erase and begin again. This whole concept drove me nuts throughout the novel. It completely makes sense- yet it's completely messed up. They choose not to protect the cities, just replace their memories and move on. The fact that you can also see such parallels to the government we trust is uncanny. I think that is what drew me into this trilogy- the corruption of the government. People explained "damaged genes" were the reason for the destruction, yet there is always going to be a group who want to overthrow what is clearly unjust. The idea behind people with the "pure genes' and how they were somehow superior to the rest of the population was interesting, yet disgusting. It's easy to explain away the reason for war when you have a convenient scape goat.

Roth gives Tobias, Four, a voice, and the story comes to a close with a lot of sorrow, death, and destruction, but it shows the fight, the struggle, and the bravery. Love is a common theme, not just the love between Tobias and Tris. Love between friends, family, and companions is.

I have come to the conclusion that I like this series a little better than The Hunger Games. Roth pushes the boundaries, and she creates a whole conspiracy behind what the main characters see as their world. She was not afraid to go against what readers would expect, or like, and it seemed that she took more of a risk with the complete ending. I think it is also always great to add a new character's point of view to the story. Collins kind of stifled herself by only using Katniss, and using her as the anchor for two male characters because it provides readers with a convenient love triangle that can be a sub plot. However, Roth managed to bring in the emotion of two characters- both broken, dealing with their own grief, but their different intentions and views to drive them both together. And the love and passion between them was not the center point- Tris and Tobias have problems within themselves, but they belong together because they each are the missing piece.

The last fifty pages were packed with so much emotion and energy- I was literally between crying and being unable to breath. This series will stick with me, and I am really interested to see what they do with the movies. Hopefully they won't disappoint. Although I was late to the party, Divergent will forever be a favorite journey I would like to revisit.

GET ON BOARD WITH THIS TRILOGY!!!